Do I have a bullseye on my chest?

I think its only human nature to ask this question when something bad happens to us. At least partly. I think its partly Satan trying to discourage us. I also think that, in part, some of us use this to make ourselves feel better. Its kind of weird, but when we don't get sympathy from others, we feel sorry for ourselves and in some weird sort of psychological disorder way, it makes us feel better. I've heard all my life that bad things happen to good people. In turn, I've realized that good things happen to bad people. That's just the way it is. "for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." Matthew 5:45. I'm no different than any of you. I have my battles with why I am in the middle of what I am. We get caught up in the circumstances surrounding our lives and all of the responsibilities we have and we think, "this couldn't be happening at a worse time." I got a good dose of God smacking me in the head yesterday and telling me "It could be worse my son. It could always be worse." I was taking my oldest daughter to the doctor to get her ears checked out. She had recently had tubes taken out. This was going to be the last follow up appointment for her. He would tell us whether she should keep wearing earplugs in the bathtub or if she could resume life without the earplugs from now on. She does not have to wear the earplugs anymore. That is not the story though. Let me continue. We were driving along and she asked, "daddy, what are those people over there doing?" They were smoking cigarettes under a bridge. She has not been exposed to that at all, thank God. No one we know or associate with smokes. This started a discussion on cigarettes and why God doesn't want us to smoke them. The conversation ultimately led to us talking about dying. In the sweetest most innocent voice I have ever heard she said, "daddy, I don't wanna die like when grandma died." I assured her that she would live a long time. Grandma died because she was old. My daughter said "I'm gonna be 100 when I die." I said "I sure hope so baby." All of this got me thinking about the prayer requests at church this last weekend. Two separate prayer requests about an 8 year old girl and a 13 year old girl that are going to die if God doesn't choose to heal the horrible diseases that are ravaging their little bodies. How could I have been so selfish to think that what I am going through is so bad? I felt horrible. I have my health. I have a beautiful and loving wife. I have 5 wonderful, healthy children. I have a church to go to that teaches the truth and allows me to live a life worthy of Heaven. What else can I ask for. All of my needs are met. We have vehicles, a home, food, clothes and electricity. There is nothing I can complain about. My little battles that I have to go through are nothing compared to what some people have to face on a daily basis. I feel ashamed to think that God should spend any time on me when there are so many who need his touch far more than I do. Thankfully, we serve a Heavenly Father who has the ability to take care of all of the needs of his children at the same time. He hears our prayers, our tears, our thoughts, and he is omnisciently directing all circumstances to his choosing to ultimately make His will unfold. Whether we agree with, understand, or want any of His will to be. I am so thankful that he sees the future, knows the present and can identify all things that will make my life be what He wants it to be. If your anything like me, that bullseye you thought you had on your chest just disappeared. I don't have any problems. Everything is exactly what God wants it to be right now. I thank Him for that. I just need to remember that tomorrow when I wake up and my circumstances are the same as they are today. He's watching. He knows. He is directing traffic. All I have to do is faithfully follow. I love Him for that. It takes so much off of my mind to know that He is in control and not me. It'll be okay. Nothing is happening that he isn't letting happen for a reason. Just sit back and wait. It will be okay. I promise. I love all of you and hope that God is in control of your lives.

LW